دسته: اشعار

سفر خیلی چیزها به آدم می آموزد

آدم

در سفر چیزهای جدید می بیند

به جاهای نرفته می رود

با آدمهای جدید آشنا می شود

همسفرهایش را بهتر می شناسد

چیزهایی را در خودش کشف می کند که قبلا از وجود آنها بی خبر بوده است

ساعت هشت و نیم از تهران حرکت کردیم

اتوبان تهران کرج خیلی شلوغ بود

ترافیک غیر ممکنی بود

گویی همه آدمهای روی کره زمین می خواستند از طریق اتوبان تهران کرج سفر کنند

همه آدمها می خواستند

به جاهای نرفته بروند

چیزهای جدید ببینند

همسفرهایشان را بهتر بشناسند

چیزهای ناشناخته ای را در خودشان کشف کنند

ساعت یازده از خروجی همت شرق برگشتیم

ساعت یازده و نیم رسیدیدم به همانجایی که ساعت هشت و نیم بودیم

 

you never know how small your life is

until you look at your 13″ computer screen

or into your drawer, a mirror or your soul

or inside your skull, your stomach or your mouth

or outside your window

or inside your mailbox

or outside your box

you never know

until you look at your spoon

 

there might be people who lead a really big life

or a big death

but you never know

until you kill someone

or love someone

until you watch enough TV

until you read enough history

until you spend enough money

until you look at your spoon

you never know

 

در یک بعد از ظهر آرام بهاری

چشم دوخته ام به کیسه آبی روی بالکن

پر از زباله های نسبتا خشک، ظرفهایی که به تازگی خالی شده اند

ظرفهایی که ممکن است روزی به شکل ظرفهای دیگری دربیایند. یا به شکل جلد یک کتاب. یا کود. یا دسته مسواک. یا کیسه های آبی دیگری برای بازیافت بیشتر

فقط خدا می داند چه بوهایی از لوله هواکش ساختمان روبرویی بیرون می آید

باید تعداد نفس هایم را کمتر کنم و زمان آنها را بیشتر

 

چند سالی است که اینگونه است.

زمستانها خیلی سرد نیست.

ماهی و سبزی و سبزی پلو در هر روزی از سال در دسترس است.

گل و سبزه هم همینطور.

لباس نو هم همینطور.

قبلا اینجوری نبود.

کانتکست نوروز تغییر کرده است.

شاید نوروزمان پیروز نباشد ولی هر روزمان نوروز است.

من وقتی این موضوع را فهمیدم که قادر بودم هر وقت دلم می خواست کفش نو بخرم.

 

it could be anything

she could be anyone

it could be anywhere

anytime

anywhere

anyone

anything

 

people fantasize about limiting their options all the time

by what they do

by what they think

by what they ask

by what they believe

it’s not easy to have options

so people fantasize about a no option world

fifty shades of one color, one person, one ideology, one thing

“if you could take only one thing with you to a deserted island, what would it be?”

“if you had only one day to live, what would you do?”

“if you had all the money in the world, what would you do?”

(this one is really a no option question if you think about it)

“if you could kill only one person, who would that person be?”

“if you could sleep with only one person, who would that person be?”

etc, etc

and then there is this really interesting no option question

“if you had to tattoo your forehead with one sentence, what would it be?”

I came up with this question, googled it and found out that other people had asked it before me

this is a real question

someone may point a gun at you and really make you choose a sentence for your forehead

just for the fun of it

or other political reasons

so I tried to be prepared

here is my short list of ten forehead tattoo sentences:

1- is that so?

2- be kind

3- everybody’s looking for something

4- shut up

5- workers are working

6- seriousness ruins everything

7- thanks

8- you are what you eat

9- love me

10- you are not even wrong

until then, I will live with my options

 

 

this morning I ran into a parked car, coming out of the parking with my pickup truck

I made a small dent in it’s front door, a very small one

then I left, I ran

then i turned around and came back

then I left a note, “Hi I dented your front door, please call…”

then I left again

then I came back four hours later

the car was still there

my note was still there, under the wiper blade

then I ate my lunch

then I left again

then I came back one hour later

the car was still there

my note was still there

I put my truck back in the garage

hiding like a thief or a murdurer

I waited for that call some more

then I left again

to see my doctor, to remove some stitches, to leave a scar

on my belly and on my soul

then she called, a nice lady, talking nice

she wanted to know how I did the impossible, I guess

I apologoized

she accepted

then she said her husband will call later

I saw my doctor, all OK

he was worried about the weather, too warm, not snowing

my skin was OK, no cancer cells there

then I came back

three hours later

the car was still there

the note was gone

that small orange sticky note with my name and number

why she hasn’t moved the car yet? or he?

I had an urge to smash the little white thing and burn it down

a day is a very long time for a newly dented parked car

I can still see the car from my window

I am still waiting for the husband to call me

or to come and kill me

or to say something nice or not nice to me

to finally settle a minor car accident

I am still waiting for the husband to move his goddamn car

 

 

 

بعضیها فکر می کنند من درکشان می کنم

نه به این دلیل که من می توانم خودم را جای آنها بگذارم

یا یک هزارم دردی را که دارند حس کنم

یا چیزی را که می بینند ببینم

یا از چیزهایی که می ترساندشان بترسم

یا بخاطر اشکهایشان اشک بریزم

نه به این دلیل که من به آنها حق می دهم

نه به این دلیل که من فکر می کنم آنها آدمهای خوبی هستند

نه به این دلیل که آرزوی من هم شبیه آرزوی آنهاست

بعضیها فکر می کنند من درکشان می کنم

فقط به این دلیل که من به حرفهایشان گوش می دهم

به آنها نگاه می کنم

نگاه کردن به کسی که دردی دارد آسان نیست

یا گوش دادن به حرفهایش

درد آدمها از طریق صدا یا نور منتقل می شود

بعضی ها فکر می کنند من درکشان می کنم

اما آنها اشتباه می کنند

من کسی را نمی توانم درک کنم

من فقط می توانم ببینم یا بشنوم. فقط بعضی وقتها

بقیه اوقات نیاز دارم به چیری نگاه کنم که درد ندارد

مثل یک درخت یا یک دیوار یا موهای دستم

نیاز دارم به صدایی بی درد گوش بدهم

مثل صدای سکوت، یا صدای آب، یا صدای فن کامپیوترم

 

چون اجازه می دهم کمی از دردشان از طریق نور یا صدا به من منتقل شود

بعضیها فکر می کنند من درکشان می کنم

 

life is too long
because we forget
because we regret
because we hope

life is too long
because of open heart surgery
chemo therapy
hemorrhoid
because of contraception
misconception

life is too long
because of education
premature ejaculation
because of reading
writing
because of books and blogs and papers and words

life is too long
because we say “life is too short” a million times

life is too long
because we think
because of seriousness
comedy
tragedy

life is too long
because of art
because of war
because of life insurance

life is too long
because of celebration
innovation
creation
certification
customization
beautification

life is too long
because of the way Ivan Ilych died
or Socrates or Steve Jobs or my grand father
because of buying and selling
shaving a million times

life is too long
because we fear losing
we fear choosing
we fear coming
we fear going
we fear the beginning
we fear the end

life is too long
because of induction
because of deduction
seduction
logic
because of ethics
aesthetics
metaphysics

life is too long
because of jobs
resumes
experience
15 years of it
because of management
leadership
because of success
achievement
improvement
development
because of meetings and meetings and meetings

life is too long
because of talking
and talking
and talking

life is just too long

It was the silhouette of two people kissing

and it was a vase

we tried to communicate

and failed

it could only be two people kissing

oh, but it’s so completely a vase

more communication

and more failing at it. At guessing what the reality really was

or proving it

It was both!

Can the world sustain such a contradiction?

the illusion of kissing and not kissing flipped back and forth

we flipped with it

it was both

we were both

the world continued to spin

there was no kissing

there was no vase

there was no us